where do i begin... well the bad springs to mind, so let's start with that.
it's kind of depressing that in this day and age (i'm not trying to sound old) something like this can reach the masses. when i think about the whole process that movies have to go through to actually reach cinemas worldwide - all the script writers, editors, the director, the cast, the effects guys, test audiences, everyone listed in the credits - at no point did anyone put their hand up and say 'heeeeeeeeey, wait a minute! this part sucks!'. there's so much here that i would hope anyone would have picked up on any of the crap that went into this movie. don't get me wrong i probably couldn't do better (...actually maybe i could, but another time) but c'mon studios! sort your god damn filtering process out and save yourself alot of money!
i admit i've never been a fan of transformers (bit before my time grandad) but at least the first movie managed to keep my attention. and at least in michael bays other work i remotely gave a shit about the characters (i still love con air and the rock dispite nic's acting talents). throughout this movie i couldn't care less if any or all of them got killed off - in fact through the second half i was kinda preying for some sort of t.w.m.d (yes that's transformers weapon of mass distruction aka 'the matrix key' or whatever it was called in this movie) would just go off and kill them all so i could go walk off my numb ass and forget this movie sooner.
it was also quite funny how sexist the movie seemed. there's pretty much one girl in the whole movie.
a woman? yeah a woman. and yeah megan fox is pretty hot if your into that fake looking slutty type whose hobbies include bending over bikes and jiggling away from explosions in slow motion. oh and just for something to keep the female viewers interested we'll add some lovey dovey, badly written scenes with the exact same greenday song playing and slot them randomly into the film.
the jar jar binks fans out there will enjoy the two useless autobot twins 'cause i bet no one else watching this movie found them annoying right?
"hmm i'll tell you what this script needs... dog fucking!" ... yeah whose weirdo idea was that? and more importantly how was this not vetted out (haha vetted, you see! cos they are dogs! i dun a funny! maybe neutered out would have been better, nevermind whatever).
questions that spring to my mind during the movie:
why leave these t.w.m.d's in existence, let alone on earth?
why would these advanced aliens even stay on earth just to blow our shit up?
how useless and futile anything the humans do is. why even get involed? it's not like you can stop them.
how shia's prision break style disguise (a baseball cap) is gunna fool anyone?
why not roll the credits hours ago and save the world some time?
why am i still sat here watching this?
who would win in a fight: a monkey with a stapler or an invisible pelican?
well that's the bad, now the good...
urrrmm the special effects... umm yep that's it, and i can't fault it there but there's only so much cg your eyes can take until your desensitized to it. it's kinda like when toy story first came out - really impressive at first but about 30mins in the cg is just a given and the script needs to take over (toy story: win, transformers 2 ... epic fail).
oh and doctor claw from inspector gadget doing the voice for the satellite decepticon, that was quite funny.
anyway if your gunna watch something at the cinema this week i'd recommend you invest your stock in drag me to hell, the hangover or star trek (if you still haven't seen it) and save terminator salvation and transformers 2 for a dvd, i'm sure they'd make good coasters.
the jar jar binks fans out there will enjoy the two useless autobot twins 'cause i bet no one else watching this movie found them annoying right?
"hmm i'll tell you what this script needs... dog fucking!" ... yeah whose weirdo idea was that? and more importantly how was this not vetted out (haha vetted, you see! cos they are dogs! i dun a funny! maybe neutered out would have been better, nevermind whatever).
questions that spring to my mind during the movie:
why leave these t.w.m.d's in existence, let alone on earth?
why would these advanced aliens even stay on earth just to blow our shit up?
how useless and futile anything the humans do is. why even get involed? it's not like you can stop them.
how shia's prision break style disguise (a baseball cap) is gunna fool anyone?
why not roll the credits hours ago and save the world some time?
why am i still sat here watching this?
who would win in a fight: a monkey with a stapler or an invisible pelican?
well that's the bad, now the good...
urrrmm the special effects... umm yep that's it, and i can't fault it there but there's only so much cg your eyes can take until your desensitized to it. it's kinda like when toy story first came out - really impressive at first but about 30mins in the cg is just a given and the script needs to take over (toy story: win, transformers 2 ... epic fail).
oh and doctor claw from inspector gadget doing the voice for the satellite decepticon, that was quite funny.
anyway if your gunna watch something at the cinema this week i'd recommend you invest your stock in drag me to hell, the hangover or star trek (if you still haven't seen it) and save terminator salvation and transformers 2 for a dvd, i'm sure they'd make good coasters.
it's also worth checking out this review. it's probably the best review i've seen for it online :)
